When Lyla was born, I started one of those "Baby's First Year" calendars for her, and I quite literally wrote down everything; from people who visited to each and every new food tasted. Her baby photo album was quickly turned into a scrap book when I decided to cut and paste cards people had given her and add them to the photos, instead of keeping them all in an old shoe box that would sit in a basement and looked at once in a blue moon. However, since she turned one, and the big 1st birthday photos were printed and photo-albumed, I've been slacking.
With all the photos I take and upload to our computer and Facebook albums, I keep thinking "they're there when I need them" ...and now 2 years have gone by without the print out of a single picture to add to her albums. It's even worse with Hannah. I started her baby book the same way I did Lyla's: pee stick (yes, I kept them), ultra sounds and growing belly pictures. However, no actual pictures of Hannah have been printed/added since her arrival! How terrible is that? I immediately upload them all to Facebook and email them to our digital frame, as well as friends and family members, but my laziness has taken over when it comes to taking to trip to the store with my sim card.
So I decided I'll do something new. Something that requires my efforts once a year, instead of every new milestone. (And I'm sure I'll eventually get to printing out the years worth of pictures I need...)
Every year I am going to write each of my girls a letter. A letter that will talk about who they are, favorite toys, acitivites & foods, who their friends are, what we spend our days doing, and even the struggles we may be having (ie. Lyla wanting to wear underwear through the night but unable to keep them dry). This way, each year they can see how they've grown, what new milestones they've reached, and always be able to look back on these younger years. I'd also like to include a photo from the time the letter is written, and maybe a picture they colored or additional photo of a favorite outfit or item. I think that as the years go by and these letters and photos add up, it will tell a cool-tale of my girls and how they've become the people they have. It will also be fun to check in with last years letter to see what new things they are able to do as "big girls" that they may have struggled with the year before.
My plan is to try and write them around the same time each year - whether that be near the holidays to talk about all the excitement and what they may be asking for, or closer to their birthdays to mark the new year. Either way I think the girls will enjoy having them, and I know I will love looking back and re-reading them. You never know the things you may forget! I want to remember every moment with these little girls of mine <3
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Friday, October 5, 2012
Adorable, memorable moment
Yesterday, Lyla and I (along with Hannah and Petey in tow) went walking around the neighborhood collecting the freshly fallen leaves. As we strolled along, she looked up at me and said "Know what mom? I could call Eric 'daddy', because he is my daddy, but I'm going to keep calling him Eric because he's always been my Eric."
Gush.
I love the innocence of the 3 year old mind, and I love hearing her little views of the world. She's right, he has always been her Eric. Well, technically, first he was "Era" and then "Eca" - but I think it's funny how she recognizes him as her daddy, but feels an attachment to calling him Eric. Almost like it's a special thing between them, that only they share, because she finished this conversation by saying "Hannah can just call him daddy, but he's my Eric"
<3
Gush.
I love the innocence of the 3 year old mind, and I love hearing her little views of the world. She's right, he has always been her Eric. Well, technically, first he was "Era" and then "Eca" - but I think it's funny how she recognizes him as her daddy, but feels an attachment to calling him Eric. Almost like it's a special thing between them, that only they share, because she finished this conversation by saying "Hannah can just call him daddy, but he's my Eric"
<3
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Feeling Helpless
Lyla has given us a rough few days this week, and admittedly, I've felt a bit helpless. I'm not sure if it's the "normal" 3 year old behavior, her getting sick, or learning lovely new things from other kids at school - but it's been tough.
Yesterday was the worst.
Now, I can deal with the usual toddler-defiance-power struggle-game. But yesterday was different; talking back at every chance, demanding things "NOW", sheer panic when she didn't get her way, and ear curdling screams. And I exhausted every parenting tactic there is. I calmly talked. I gave chances. I gave warnings. I took away dessert. I raised my voice. I sat and rocked with her. I walked away. Nothing was helping, nothing was calming her down. As easy as it would have been to give in and give her dessert before dinner or let her watch more TV - what would that teach her? Nothing. I didn't want her to think that this behavior was okay or would get her what she wanted, and so, I let her scream. I let her be angry. I stuck to my word.
She eventually settled down, fell asleep, and woke up my loving, happy toddler again. But once dinner time approached and she asked about dessert, she was reminded that because of her previous behavior, she was not allowed a dessert. Now, being 3 is all about the power. She wants to be in control, and panics when she's not. So, in my best attempt to distract her, I kindly stated that she could not have dessert after dinner, but tomorrow would be a better day. "What do you think you'll have for dessert tomorrow, Ly?" I asked.
Cue round 2.
"NO! NOT tomorrow! I want dessert NOW! NOWWWWWW!" And there go my ear drums. Once again, I exhaust all methods - calmly explaining, attempting to distract, placing her in time out while she calms down....still nothing. She screamed so loud and so much that I was sure she would come out of it with no voice. I can't imagine what our neighbors were thinking. I felt completely and utterly helpless. I had to stick to my word and show Lyla that she was indeed not the boss, and that this was not okay behavior - but the feeling of not being able to calm my daughter down was the worst. I finally placed her in her room, shut the door, looked at Eric and put my hands up in defeat. For the first time in my journey of motherhood, I didn't know what to do.
I don't know what has changed. Normally, I can talk Lyla down from any tantrum. Even when reminding her of something less favorable, like getting dessert taken away, she usually (so adorably) responds with "I'll just have one tomorrow! Maybe some chocolate! Mmmm!" But this week, her responses are totally out of control, and I feel terrible that I can't help her feel better. She seems to be having a real hard time expressing herself and using her words when something isn't going the way she wants. Even the other day when she was being dropped off after a birthday party, Eric was putting her shoes on so she could walk into the house, and she didn't want them on. So, she started kicking him and melted into a giant puddle of tears and flailing extremities. Hello? Words? "I don't want my shoes on, Eric" would have sufficed - which she normally responds with! I have no idea why the sudden change, and even worse, no idea how to prevent or help it.
Throughout the day, I am constantly giving her positive reinforcement. Anytime she uses manners, says something politely, uses her words instead of actions, does something kind...I always am aware of it and sure to praise her for it. Especially lately, when I feel I'm doing more scolding than praising. Even when talking to Hannah, I usually "chat" about Lyla, saying things like "you have the BEST big sister who is doing a really good job eating her lunch!" Whatever Lyla is going through, I want her to know that Eric and I notice all the good, too.
But this new demanding, overly emotional, defiant Lyla is something we're struggling with. It reared it's ugly face again this morning when she woke up and wanted to watch TV; something we didn't have time to do because it was a school morning. I reminded her of this, and told her that we'd have plenty of time to watch a show later, and maybe even make a special snack to eat, too. But no. "NOW NOW NOW". Luckily, the waterworks managed to stay at bay, but I cringed a little inside at the site of my sweet girl acting, well, not so sweet.
Something's up. She's even been crying when I drop her off at school which she's never done. I made her teachers aware of her new behavior at home, in hopes that they may keep an extra eye on her at school to indicate whether or not something is going on there. Eric and I have talked about trying to give her even more attention at home, in hopes that this all may just be a cry for more.
But this sucks. And I feel helpless. And don't know what to do, for the first time in 3 years.
Yesterday was the worst.
Now, I can deal with the usual toddler-defiance-power struggle-game. But yesterday was different; talking back at every chance, demanding things "NOW", sheer panic when she didn't get her way, and ear curdling screams. And I exhausted every parenting tactic there is. I calmly talked. I gave chances. I gave warnings. I took away dessert. I raised my voice. I sat and rocked with her. I walked away. Nothing was helping, nothing was calming her down. As easy as it would have been to give in and give her dessert before dinner or let her watch more TV - what would that teach her? Nothing. I didn't want her to think that this behavior was okay or would get her what she wanted, and so, I let her scream. I let her be angry. I stuck to my word.
She eventually settled down, fell asleep, and woke up my loving, happy toddler again. But once dinner time approached and she asked about dessert, she was reminded that because of her previous behavior, she was not allowed a dessert. Now, being 3 is all about the power. She wants to be in control, and panics when she's not. So, in my best attempt to distract her, I kindly stated that she could not have dessert after dinner, but tomorrow would be a better day. "What do you think you'll have for dessert tomorrow, Ly?" I asked.
Cue round 2.
"NO! NOT tomorrow! I want dessert NOW! NOWWWWWW!" And there go my ear drums. Once again, I exhaust all methods - calmly explaining, attempting to distract, placing her in time out while she calms down....still nothing. She screamed so loud and so much that I was sure she would come out of it with no voice. I can't imagine what our neighbors were thinking. I felt completely and utterly helpless. I had to stick to my word and show Lyla that she was indeed not the boss, and that this was not okay behavior - but the feeling of not being able to calm my daughter down was the worst. I finally placed her in her room, shut the door, looked at Eric and put my hands up in defeat. For the first time in my journey of motherhood, I didn't know what to do.
I don't know what has changed. Normally, I can talk Lyla down from any tantrum. Even when reminding her of something less favorable, like getting dessert taken away, she usually (so adorably) responds with "I'll just have one tomorrow! Maybe some chocolate! Mmmm!" But this week, her responses are totally out of control, and I feel terrible that I can't help her feel better. She seems to be having a real hard time expressing herself and using her words when something isn't going the way she wants. Even the other day when she was being dropped off after a birthday party, Eric was putting her shoes on so she could walk into the house, and she didn't want them on. So, she started kicking him and melted into a giant puddle of tears and flailing extremities. Hello? Words? "I don't want my shoes on, Eric" would have sufficed - which she normally responds with! I have no idea why the sudden change, and even worse, no idea how to prevent or help it.
Throughout the day, I am constantly giving her positive reinforcement. Anytime she uses manners, says something politely, uses her words instead of actions, does something kind...I always am aware of it and sure to praise her for it. Especially lately, when I feel I'm doing more scolding than praising. Even when talking to Hannah, I usually "chat" about Lyla, saying things like "you have the BEST big sister who is doing a really good job eating her lunch!" Whatever Lyla is going through, I want her to know that Eric and I notice all the good, too.
But this new demanding, overly emotional, defiant Lyla is something we're struggling with. It reared it's ugly face again this morning when she woke up and wanted to watch TV; something we didn't have time to do because it was a school morning. I reminded her of this, and told her that we'd have plenty of time to watch a show later, and maybe even make a special snack to eat, too. But no. "NOW NOW NOW". Luckily, the waterworks managed to stay at bay, but I cringed a little inside at the site of my sweet girl acting, well, not so sweet.
Something's up. She's even been crying when I drop her off at school which she's never done. I made her teachers aware of her new behavior at home, in hopes that they may keep an extra eye on her at school to indicate whether or not something is going on there. Eric and I have talked about trying to give her even more attention at home, in hopes that this all may just be a cry for more.
But this sucks. And I feel helpless. And don't know what to do, for the first time in 3 years.
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