I often find myself thinking about where my life would be if I hadn't become a mother at such a young age. I had (what I thought were) big plans for myself, after all.
After choosing a 13 month program to become a Massage Therapist, I was feeling a little left out of the whole "college experience" that most of my good friends were diving into. I continued to live and study at home, while every one else bunked in dorms with their new best friends. I worked my ass off studying during the week keeping up an A+ average, and partied my liver away at my friends various colleges on the weekends.
Feeling secluded at home with most of my friends away, I poured myself into my newest relationship, that, you guessed it, revolved around partying. That eventually fizzled out and I made plans with friends to move to Amherst and live in an apartment together once I graduated from Massage Therapy School. I could only think of the incredibly hip life I'd have; massaging college athletes or alongside a yoga instructor next to a corner café, and living like a sorority girl all at the same time. What I didn't plan for was the discovery of a pregnancy just days after I became a certified MT.
Well, those plans went out the window.
From that moment on my life revolved around work, healthy living, and book after book of "What to Expect". And because of this, I can't help but be thankful for the timing of this unplanned miracle, because I truly feel like it saved me in so many ways.
It was the kick off to my clean eating, to my daily exercise, to my prioritizing, to true love, to absolutely everything that is in my life today. And because of what seemed like poor timing, and because I was at home breastfeeding and changing diapers while my friends were all at the bars and making lifetime friendships, I immersed myself in motherhood. I used it as a distraction from the outside world, from my unhappy relationship, from everything. From the moment those little pink lines appeared, it was all about her. Those distractions became a form of habit, and those habits lead me to truly love and appreciate everything there was about motherhood and this beautiful, incredible little girl I had created.
It also taught me to never settle. It wasn't just about me anymore, and my little girl deserved the best, deserved happiness, deserved love. And because I wanted this for her, I needed it for me. I am thankful everyday for the timing of this pregnancy. I am thankful that I am sitting here today, happily married with two beautiful healthy children. I am happy that because I had Lyla exactly when I did, I was forced to take a new path.
That little girl saved me in more ways than she will ever know.
