Parenting is hard work. Plain and simple. What makes it worth it are those little moments when you witness your hard work paying off.
Often times when we have play dates and I hear Lyla make comments like "mommy, she's not being a good listener" or "she'll get a belly ache if she eats that much sugar", I feel like I tend do go a little overboard in the "strict parenting" department. However, when I see her willingness to share toys, problem solve, and use good manners - those are the little reassuring moments that whisper "yes! You're doing a good job at this mommy thing!" One of these moments occurred yesterday, and it may have been the most proud I have been of my big girl thus far.
Once Hannah was old enough to sit up and play with toys, Lyla quickly learned that her favorite playthings would need to be guarded if she wanted them to remain spit up and booger free. She accomplished this by hoarding every toy set out on the floor for play up onto the couch out of her baby sister's reach. At first, I fought fire with fire and demanded she put every single toy back into the floor. "If you want Hannah to share her toys with you, you need to teach her how by sharing your toys with her" I preached. So, we agreed that it was okay for Lyla to have her "special choices" that could be sister-free, and everything else was to be shared. This worked until the "I want nothing to do with that toy until Hannah plays with it, then I take it from her" phase began. To which I responded with "if you want something Hannah is playing with, wait until she's done, or try trading her for another toy instead". These are lines and phrases that are on repeat like a broken record day in and day out. It's exhausting; that is, until you see it pay off.
Yesterday while visiting with the girls' Aunt and baby cousin who is just a few moths older than Hannah, the babies went back and forth taking toys from each other per usual. Lyla played the big sister/cousin roll by making sure each toy got returned to its "proper owner" - sounds cute and helpful until you have 2 babies who were perfectly content with a toy swap until Lyla comes in and snatches them both away and forces a trade-back. Lyla finally let the babies be, until Hannah got a hold of one of Lyla's "special choices": a big plastic Easter egg. Eric's Grammy, who we were also visiting with, kindly found a spare Easter egg to trade Hannah with, and all was well again - until their baby cousin decided he wanted an Easter egg, too. After watching the babies pass it back and forth for a few whiney moments, Lyla shyly comes up to me. She puts her hands on my lap so we are face-to-face - secret sharing position commence. "Mommy, I think I'm going to let the baby play with my Easter egg. That way, he can have one and Hannah can have one and they will both be happy!"
GUSH. Gush gush gush.
She said this in the sweetest, most caring tone of voice I have ever heard. And what made it all worth while was seeing her joy and satisfaction for problem solving, being helpful, and selfless. For the rest of the day, I couldn't tell her how proud I was of her enough, and how happy that made mommy.
We all want to raise children who are thankful for every gift received, even if they secretly hate it. Who will share a snack with a friend who doesn't have one. Who shares all their toys and say "please" and "thank you" at the start and end of every sentence. Lets be real, this does NOT happen. So in these tiny moments where you see the light between the freshness an temper tantrums...it's an absolute joy, and yes - I'll say it - a pat on the back for good ol' mom.
I don't know if it's my "focus on the positive" mindset lately, or if Lyla has actually been particularly well behaved, but I have been so unbelievably proud of her lately. She really is such an amazing, smart, funny, energetic little girl. She's a great big sister, caring friend and loving daughter. I feel lucky each day for the girl she is growing to be.
To end our fabulous day, when I was tucking her into bed, she began to tell me what she was going to dream about that night - our little nightly ritual to fall asleep with good thoughts. After listing all her favorite stuffed animals and princess accessories, she adds "and you know what else I'm going to dream about? I'm going to dream about sharing my special Easter egg with the babies, because t made you so happy"
I.freaking.love.this.child.
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