If it's one thing I've learned in my journey through motherhood (thus far), it's to trust your own instincts. Everyone is going to have their own opinions on raising children, but only you know your child, and their tendencies, needs, and wants. Not to mention, every child is different, and therefore no one-way is more efficient or better than another; whatever works for your child is best - not what your mother, best friend, or sometimes even doctor may think.
Take my girls for example - so far they have been total opposites. Although born at almost exactly the same weight and full term, Lyla gained weight at a slow but steady pace, and now there's Hannah who at 1 month is already nearing 10lbs - a weight that Lyla didn't hit until month 2. Lyla slept miserably at first and gradually got better (and then worse again), and Hannah started off sleeping 5 hour chunks at night, and is now waking anywhere from every half hour to every 2 hours. My girls have different needs, and although I've done this before, my parenting methods are forced to change from Lyla to Hannah to accommodate these needs.
Even the 2 different pediatricians I've had have varied opinions. Lyla's doctor was a fan of the "never wake a sleeping baby" method, where Hannah's doctor has advised us to keep her awake during the day as often as possible so she'll sleep better at night. There are some who say the more sleep they get during the day, the less they will sleep at night, and then there are others who believe that the more you force them to stay awake, the more over-tired they will become and have an even harder time falling and staying asleep come bedtime.
And then there's the feeding opinions. Do you nurse your baby on demand or try and formulate a feeding schedule? Some say if you nurse at every whimper, you're teaching your baby to eat for comfort instead of when they're actually hungry, which creates poor eating habits for later in life. Where others say that the more you feed them during the day, the more satisfied they will be come night time and the better sleep they will have with little need to wake every hour or two to nurse.
Opinions, opinions, opinions...
Now one month in to being a mother of 2, I can say that I've tried the back and forth of each of these opinions, and all I can say is that I do what I need to in order to survive - yes, we're in survival mode over here. I try not to let Hannah nap more than 2 hours at a time during the day, which is something I picked up from her cues, since she likes to eat every 2 hours. I'll keep her awake as long as she'll tolerate it, but if she's tired, I don't force her to stay awake - especially if she's fussy. What am I, crazy? I'll take a napping, tired baby over a forced-awake-fussy one, thank you. I try to keep her to a nursing schedule during the day, but at night if she wants to eat every 10 minutes I'm all for it- whatever puts her back to sleep, I'm game.
I can't say that I don't appreciate a little "advice" or opinion-sharing here and there, though, because a lot of the things I've tried with my kids have come from other mothers. But if someone tells me I'm doing something wrong because it's not what worked for their child, then I'd rather go without the sharing. I've definitely been one to share my experiences in motherhood with other new or expecting moms, because when I was pregnant I talked to every mom I could find about their motherhood findings, but I try to do so in a "this worked for me, it may or may not work for you" way, verses "this is the only way to do it". I've found that a lot of mothers are strongly opinionated in that their way is the only, and right way, and I suppose if you've been successful in the feeding-sleeping-happybaby department then you have a right to feel that way, but they tend to forget that all babies are different. No matter how perfect you believe your parenting may be, it doesn't mean it will be for someone else. Share away, mommies, but respect other mothers' ways, too :)
I'm confident that as a mother, I am meeting my children's needs - needs that are different from anyone else's kids, and are met with different methods than other mothers may use. I am just lucky that I have 2 healthy, beautiful girls, and that I'm continuing to learn about each of them every day, and how to care for and love them more efficiently as I do. Motherhood is amazing, even with everyone thinking there's a better way to do things - I trust me :)
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