Accomplished

Through my many journey's of motherhood, it's safe to say that I've accomplished a lot: I've birthed two children, I've spent sleepless nights nursing, I've done countless loads of laundry and washed hundreds of dishes, the list is endless. However, as I learn to stay present and focus on right now, at the end of the day, the word "accomplished" holds a new meaning.

Up until recently, I may have judged my day's accomplishments on how many chores I got done. I'd be proud to announce that I got to the usual dishes and laundry, but also dusted, swept, vacuumed and organized. My goal was to go to bed with an empty sink, folded clothes, toys picked up and dining room table clear - just to wake up and do it all over again. It was time for an adjustment here.

I needed to find a balance. I often found myself saying that I never have a break during the day, but this was my own fault. In the morning, when Lyla watches a few of her Disney Junior shows and Hannah is napping, I usually take that time to do the breakfast dishes, and perhaps a little dusting and sweeping, when I could be snuggled on the couch with my big girl, feet up, and resting. The same with nap time. I could use those couple of hours to nap myself, but instead I'm taking care of the lunch dishes, prepping dinner, and usually setting up a craft or activity for when Lyla wakes up. If there's any sweet silence of napping children left once my house is clean yet again, I may catch up on some reading or writing, but my mind was never at rest. That was the first thing I had to change.

I took away all the distractions. If I was nursing Hannah, I would turn the tv off, maybe put on one of my massage playlists or classical lullabies, and just stare at my baby - totally in the moment. Instead of setting Lyla up with something to do so I could tend to something else, I'll sit and do it with her, investing all of my time into her, while I let the laundry sit unfolded in the dryer for just a bit longer. It's amazing how much more time I found to just sit and play, or kick my feet up and relax, when I let the other things fall behind a bit.

All I know is that now, at the end of the day, I measure my accomplishments much differently. When I climb into bed at night and Eric and I are quietly chatting about our day, I no longer feel that the fact that the floor got mopped is what made my day great, but my ability to be patient, present, and there with my girls is. That's when I feel most accomplished and pleased with myself. And if I had a day where I lost my cool, dwelled on future happenings, or tended to other things more than I needed to, then tomorrow is another day to try harder.