Confession time: I've become one of those mothers who has fallen into the "TV babysitter" rut, and I hate myself for getting here. I used to refuse to let Lyla watch any television. Then, it was an "educational" show or two in the morning - with me sitting right next to her, interacting throughout. Then, I slowly realized how still and calm she became when watching TV, and how little she noticed me being there with her. I began to use her morning TV-time as my time; time to do the dishes, fold the laundry, take the dog out, etc. In my head, it was perfect: I was getting all of these things out of the way so we would have the whole day ahead of us without the stack of dishes or piles of laundry standing in our way. One hour of morning shows turned into 2, and even sometimes more. What I didn't realize is how much time I was missing out on with Lyla by taking this time for myself.
And, it's summer! Mornings are warm and welcoming, unlike the cold, snowy winter that lies ahead of us. What am I thinking spending 2+ hours inside cleaning every morning while my toddler sits glued to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse? I had always assumed it was Lyla who wanted the TV on first thing in the morning, but now I'm realizing that it was me, turning it on before she even asked about it. So, I put it to the test.
Yesterday, when Lyla woke up, Hannah was already awake and nursed, playing happily on the floor to the sound of her favorite lullaby CD. Lyla came to sit and coo with us on the floor, and then proceeded to take out her coloring things. What? You aren't asking to turn on the Fresh Beat Band? Really? I was shocked. In fact, when I asked what she wanted to do, expecting her to demand her morning shows, she asked to go to the playground. I checked my phone: sunny and 80 degrees. Playground? Absolutely. Maybe she was having an off day, so I did the same this morning. She waltzed out of bed at an unusually late 8am, asked for breakfast, and then to go play outside. No TV, again!
2 hours of TV every morning, give or take - that's 14 hours a week that I could spend playing with my girls and not worry about what chores need to get done. Especially when it's this easy, and not some cruel punishment to Lyla to turn off the tube. Still, we both need our downtime throughout the day since neither of us can physically run around all day everyday, so the TV still comes on; I'm just more careful about when and how long. These past 2 days, I've asked Lyla if she would like to watch a show before nap or after dinner, while I sit and nurse the baby and watch with her. I feel much better about her TV-time knowing that I'm spending that time with her, asking questions and responding along with the incredibly bubbly annoying characters. We also have a weekly movie night when Eric goes to his exercise class, where Lyla picks a Disney movie, we make popcorn, and cuddle on the couch or around Hannah on the floor. Admittedly, I will sometimes sit and fold some laundry while Beauty and the Beast grasps my toddler's attention, but I'll take that over a daily 2 hours of morning chores.
If (when) the morning comes that Lyla does ask for TV first thing, I won't hesitate to put it on. I'll just be sure to stay present and take the time to put my feet up and watch with her, instead of looking around at what I could get done. The dishes can sit in the sink for a little longer.
It may be harder on me, since the cut back on television forces me into a more active day, but no one ever said being a mom was easy, and I don't like knowing that I may have been taking an easy way out. At the end of the day, I love knowing that I took all my time and energy and put it towards my girls. They won't be little forever, and I don't want to let anymore time slip away.
Anytime throughout motherhood where I can stop, look at myself, and make room for improvement, I will always be willing to do so. I saw something I didn't like, and I changed it. It may be something small, but knowing I have this ability will help me to make bigger changes in the future, and create the best lives for my children. Who could ask for more?
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